had lessons...mainly to boring to talk about...got a "good" sticker on teh bus...

wonderful....got kyomu no chuu de no yuugi dais..soundtrack to bara no konrei

have washed ballet bag now so may be able to take it in tomorrow if its dry...

x.x.x.

ahhh nail crisis...what pattern to do....

10th
ah the boredom of maths led me to colour my fringe bluee..this then led me to play about with blue hair colour stuff ending up with a blue fringe...luckily it washes out..which has now led me to want to paint my nails electric blue ^^ and wanting blue hair with *ahem* back brushed bunches...

gackt looked better in malice mizer....probably coz mana did most of the co-ordinating..and the dancing...*will definately not look at vanilla dancing again* O_o...and i thought illuminati was um..weird...with all the fanservice...but having seen vanilla that looks like rather light yaoi...i guess it sorta depends if you want your male singer singing or elsewhere on stage...probably best i leave it to your imaginations really......the shounen ai in brise was sweet tho...*repeats in head "i am not a fangirl, i am not a fangirl, i am not a fangirl..."*

bought suzy's book...but ebay is being silly and wont let me pay yet coz i changed my email address and need to confirm or something..i would if it could send me the email i need argh its the internet..

gotta do some art O_o need to buy sushi tho...and get pictures *starts to look through japan photos..* i have an odd feeling no one felt like taking photos of sushi at around 5 in morning...ooo we have some of plastic sushi yippee! oo and found the pictures of kaiseki food in kamkura and the food from the ryokan...picking up japan photos today i think...that took a while...*glances shiftily*

also gotta do some sociology.must get people to do questionaires.

new words: hime: princess e.g. sakura-hime: princess sakura

purastic: plastic

dakish...: to do with holding/hugging(verb endings..)

hohouemu....:to do with smiling (depends on verb ending...)

aishite...:to do with love (again with the verb ending)

motto: more, a bit more, a while more..etc

see listening to japanese songs does help ^^

Wonderful, got “sushi to snack” from m&s, yippee…now I actually have to do some art..i want to do a collage of food images with my fruit pictures I did and some packaging and then a collage of Japanese food and packaging then some sushi drawings.. then maybe an artist or two

Got a bit of au revoir live….really bad quality…still tis gackt ^^ got aegen, claire and another song…wana get the hotwave interview 1996 I think…the real clip of mana talking…not the one circulating of a cosplayer…

Also getting some more ayumi songs…happy ending, because of you, teddy bear, hope or pain, voyage and ever free and a few others

I think this whole liking mana thing is rather weird for me…I normally idolise manga characters…but these are real people….which may be why I find it odd…maybe its because I have never really taken an interest in bands particularly male ones…and I rarely like the look of the males anyway…*looks shiftily around*...*hides threads from imaf on gackt, klaha and mana*

aishiteru!!!! (heh *is re-remembering her cardcaptor sakura japanese*)

ooo baroque is catchy...oh my sweet corpse kura chai yadda yadda...how innocent i was to think tetsu was saying oh my sweet oohhh kura chai....hehe..,maybe its best i dont now the translations to many of these songs...*thinks back to vanilla* yup maybe i should stop with the translations...

and manas guitar is pretty O_o jeune fille esp mana model

Favorite Malice Mizer Band Member?

mana

? Favorite Malice Mizer Singer?

Klaha or maybe gackt

? What Do You Like Best About Klaha?

the hair!! or voice

? Favorite Malice Mizer Song?

ummm au revoir, illuminati, ju te veux, gardenia, beast of blood...dont make me choose

? Favorite Pride of mind song?

havent heard them

? Favorite Klaha (solo) Song?

i only have stay in the rain

? Which Malice Mizer Song Do You Find The Most "Danceable"?

ju te veux...gackt solo: vanilla

? Favorite Malice Mizer PV?

beast of blood or gardenia

? Favorite Malice Mizer Live?

brise or ju te veux

? Favorite Malice Mizer Album?

merveilles or was that just the tour...?

? Favorite Malice Mizer Single?

isnt that pretty similar to favourite song...

? Favorite Malice Mizer Bassist? (Is this question rigged? ^_~)

ummmm yu~ki

? Favorite MM related dream?

well..mana had a tea party..wait thats on the imaf forum...

? Favorite MM set of Clothing?

gardenia!!!

? If Klaha Were An Inanimate Object, What Would He Be?

pudding...not in a bad way...he likes pudding...

? What Language Does Klaha Sound the Sexiest Speak(sing)ing? [English/French/Japanese...?]

his english is pretty good...or japanese

? What's the Craziest/Odd/Weird/Strange/Bizzarest thing you've done in displaying you're love of Malice Mizer?

ive considering buying something from moi meme moitie and i do colour my hair blue and do my lips blue sometimes when people dont see me...

? What is your favorite part of Klaha's body?

hair

? Which do you like Klaha better in? [Pride of Mind / Malice Mizer / Solo...?]

he looks better in mm

x.x.x.

11th
Stayed up late last night…then woke up at 7….technically i should still be asleep...meh and the internet is being moody...

Woah hiten muma on ebay at only £6…and the chii butterfly dress is back on…one day one day I will attempt to make it

got a few more ayu songs and some moi dix mois...running out of malice mizer ones to get already...ah rondo of love and sadness is shiroi...heh..teh translations could could confuse a stupid and the fact that they started to use japanese song titles...anyway it now means i have shiroi on repeat now

found subject for presentations in spanish and german-IMAF...i can use all the tenses and things...it should work hopefully..now how do you say anime in spanish...and there will be...argh..germans ok, you can just about make it up..

need to go to brighton...must look for platforms :D or find camdem either one will do...or france, moi memes moitie!!...or shinjuku, stupid site wont accept people abroad...meh

rewatched some lives:brise and beast of blood...ok..i just like the way they say "marisu mizeru desu"...woah gekka no yasakyoku pv is weird...hah gackt just twirled a flew up in the air...god thats scary..the band are dolls and puppets and gackt has loonnnggg nails...and floats for most of the video..

done nails wine colour...wasnt to sure on the blue..maybe next time..then i may do black...

O_o i just looked at my nails now they are painted...and they look scary...its sorta like the other day i looked at my feet and thought..hmm they are quite small but this was...god my nails looks fake, how do i do anything with them? thing is i cant do anything *without* them. when i last cut them off, i could type or do up buttons or anything...i really do scare myself...

*it was bad enough that she hated who she had become half the time, but when it seems no-one can quite understand...this...obsession..she knows she should find a way out, but its seems to late and shes in too deep and shes just fallen in further and its everywhere, its her song, her dance, her every step, its tipping the scales in her life..its changing who she is more rapidly than she realises..maybe she should have realised earlier, a few years back before it all began, how did she end up here...maybe one day, one day she will trace it and find the video than started it off...* that was odd...

oo yayee getting N.P.S.N.G.S (no pains no gains) live...and the reason for the name mana;

"Mana" literally translates into "Name of the devil" (ma=evil na=name) but is always written in katakana (hmmm doesnt look that pretty...i would have expected some over the top kanji...). which would sorta fit the whole visual kei thing...rumors say he has changed his name legally as more rumors said his real name was manabu satoru...which even more rumors say the M.S stands for in Camui m.s. gackt....wow there are a whole load of rumors going round...klaha is probably the only member to actually have a real name...

12th
megan gave me snoopy badge yayee :D, now I shall actually know which blazer is mine….doing some art…done 8 little little images and got some pictures to collage... *collages* hadta read I shall paint my nails red in English..because my nails were..by chance red. Well actually they are “divine wine”…but I don’t think the teacher would have cared…am considering electric blue nails and then purple it on my list..

Got n.p.s.n.g.s. live…tis funny, malice mizer goes military and am getting mana’s sans retour interview…but even then he doesn’t speak, just sits there with subtitles…meh…have drawn Gardenia Klaha and have done most of gardenia mana…fun! :D yayee

Probably taking FRUiTS book in tomorrow, yippee, I can scare people with real harajuku girls

The internet it still being weird and keeps letting me online, not letting me on websites, letting me on websites, not letting me on msn...and I need to pay for suzys book as soon as the internet will let me…but lauras cd has dispatched so that’s good ^^

*so who is she now? Does anybody truly know her…could they say what she really wants in life…but then again does she even know yet? Does she even know when she will find out…when she finds out will it be too late for her? Maybe she is trying too hard to find out…but if she doesn’t try to find out then she’ll never know and then no one will know…*

x.x.x.

13th
meh...not allowed to wear dark nail varnish now..argh..hardly have any nail varnish remover left..gonna do french manicure instead with little sparklie things...

had to buy fruit for art today, finished gardenia mana..wana do purple beast of blood live mana now ^^

got Honey stuck in my head again and Game

made rikku birthday card...which involved making a mana gardenia version of hello kitty :D and putting her on Kozi's shoulder and then putting mr goat and his halo on mana's shoulder ^^ was gonna put kitty in gackt's hand...but it didnt look good because he has "blood" all over his hands...

ah technically i should do some art and my citizenship now...meh

x.x.x.

14th
hikki's single out soon (if anyone dares to be mean about her nickname i will bite your head off) needtobuyitwhenitcomesout..

hehe...read gackt klaha fanfight...haha tis funny...i am so easily amused...just as ma che'rie live amuses me..*thinks of actually getting a life...*

and need to do spanish presentation...that should be interesting..also have to do science and some sociology..staying after school tomoro to do more sociology, yay *throws arms up in fake enthusiasm*

x.x.x.

15th
had sociology after school thing and we got muffins! woop! rest of day was ok..have to re-do some of my spnish presentation as it has too many non-spanish words in it...probably gonna try to do it in japanese though...should be fun ^^ maths is just confusing me at the moment...how am i meant to understand how things are proportinate to each other and indirect proportion...

oh and i walked home from school...was actually quite a long walk O_o but it was good-i got to have an internal argument :D

new words: minna-san : everyone

e.g. minna-san wa kowaii desu ne ? everyone is scary dont you think?

*she walking in the rain..she wants to be away, away from here, anywhere but here...what would happen, she wonders, if i walked into the road? would the car being doing under 30 as it should and stop before it gets me? or would it be a tragic hit and run featured on page 9 of tomorrows newspaper with people saying how unexpected it was and how she was going to go to college and university? or would the person hit me and fill themselves with guilt for something not really their fault? she doesn't really want to be there, but she's home and she's leaning over the cold sink. everything looks white and emotionless around while her emotions are streaming out through her eyes. She drags her hand across her face and lifts her head up to the mirror and sees the angry red slash her make up has made. her hands and nails move frantically over her face creating a distorted image of herself, taking away the mask she wears. who is she underneath? what if she is no-one? she will go and put her make up right..and keep on pretending to be something she's not...*

x.x.x.

16th
O_o...a few weeks ago i actually said to my mother i though victorian shirts and things would come in for the autumn...and they actually have O_o ah shock! topshop has a very GL looking dress...it may make the clothes cheaper..however i feel it will make a larger amount of ahem "harajuku" girls...has now looked at more pictures of gwen stefani...*doubts if a gothic lolita would poke the blue what you waiting for dress with a barge pole*

well now i re-got that out of my system...

did more japanese yesterday:

Watashi wa jo desu. Eikokujin desu. Ei ni sunde imasu. Ongaku ga suki desu demo kokten-ongaku ga suki ja arimasen.marisu miseru, ayumi hamasaki to utada hikaru ga suki wa kikimasu. Manga ga daisuki desu. Kadokaputa sakura, chobitsu to rigu veda yomimashta. Rigu veda no ho suki desu nazenara omoshiroi to kuramapu ga kaita.

Kuramapu wa manga geijutsu-ka desu. Tanojotachi wa Doujinshi wo hajimemashta. Ima tanojotachi wa kobato wo kakide imasu.

x.x.x.

17th
imaf postcards came today :D..have over 100 tho..so if i throw them at you dont worry ^^

did a bit more imaf entry last night, straightened teh eyes out..and ooo gothic lolita bible 18 is out...but clover box set has been pushed back until december...ah well ill manage (ok i put that in so i could say manage...hehe)

and the internet is being evil again..so im on the main computer..and it deleted my personal message...and it changed the wonderful picture of mana-sama *sniffs* i did see some chibi drawings though *^^* and i can live in hope that one day moi dix mois will do a live over here...if mana got to france he sure could make it to england :D at least after juka left they didnt split..i heard someone say the only reason moi dix mois would ever disband would be is malice mizer reformed...which would be better than moi dix mois..

x.x.x.

23rd
yayee the internet is alive again ^^ and i can dance along to je te veux which is all that is needed to make a happy me...*plays songs*

going to brighton with ceri tomorrow...then doing open evening and we will finally have the ring 2 sleepover...with sleeping beauty afterwards :D

incase you havent all already realised im in the midst of hyperactivity...mainly due to listening to beast of blood..haha..they try to be menacing and gothicy...but it all falls down when beast of blood sounds like bean sprout...kills the atmosphere that does...

oo new memoirs of a geisha trailer has been released :D yay!...tis the north american release...and they really over do the eyes...they made them blue! and what have they done to the snow dance...ah...weird techno music...sped up dancing...argh they've tried to make it too american...*re-watches japanese trailer* ah all is better ^^

well the internet broke again and is working again...went shopping with ceri...so there will now be a gothic lolita rant (you have been warned) they had little capes and *shudders* lace head-dresses....i can see this going terribly terribly wrong...mainly because they have forgotten all about teh socks...and its sorta a cross between elegant gothic lolita and elegant gothic aristocrat...and some of the shirts remind me of things klaha wears...but they were in the womens section..

got a copy of neo...yay finally i found one...it had a review on hikki's album...which should be coming out soon. ymmwtbam is coming out on cd sometime in october i think *must buy* and i *think* she is releasing under utada...im not sure though

nearly finished imaf entry...thankfully RSOM is gonna be an annual uk thing as well...so ill probably enter photo album then, ooo and there a comiccon on in brighton on november 19-20 so i might try and go to that coz tokoyopop have a stall there :D

x.x.x.

24th
ow my hair...ive learnt my lesson...Juka's hair is probably a wig and not to be copied with your own hair...it will not work and involve hair getting very knotty..ow...meh my hair hates me..ah wait if you back brush your hair it works :D hehe if my hair were blue and i still had a short fringe it would look like gardenia hair. ow.

got most of hotwave 96 interview of malice mizer...mana says a word *faints* the interviewer then asks him where he is from i think or something along those lines like where do want to live, where do you come from...then he whispers in gackt's ear fransu (france) then he is asked "parle vous francais?" to which he says to gackt: konnichwa fransu desu or hello france...it was quite sweet, but you sort of had to see it...ah well

also got moi dix mois tentation live...not as interesting as malice mizer lives...they just seem to actually play their instruments...

x.x.x.

25th
getting parente de societe...yay for fanclub vcds ^^ nearly finished imaf entry :D character name: rei kyu chie ume nao mei hitomi *^^* anways...gotta scan it now

x.x.x.

26th
hehe managed (managed!! woo!!) to pack for week a instead of b...was ok tho only had english instead of science and we didnt use our books. bus didnt come after school today...so walked with brother, david, david's little brother, duncan and tom. hehe tom carried my bag for some of the way ^^...posted imaf entry on way home. then had crackers :D and found a chibi picture of mana on nocturnal opera forum...

meh got to do art and art written work today tho...

ooo also wanna try to get moon child...gackt...hyde...in one movie ^^ and then bel air was the other malice film but with gackt-san instead of klaha, and i guess kami was still alive then so he would be in it. yes its probably an excuse for gackt to pose with long hair and mana to dress as a maid....but do i really care? its actually quite fun to work out these silent films...lets see if they do some more wonderful wonderful engrish subtitles. and the song translations are normally amusing...*is still wondering about vanilla...and n.p.s n.g.s.*

new word: shiroi -white

bara- rose

sakai- reunion

kioku-memory

x.x.x.

27th
interesting and random thought: does mana get called mana-kun or mana-chan??? or mana-hime (i have actually seen that on fan sites) or does he get permanently called mana-sama? i do have odd thoughts...

today was actually ok ^_^ did better in german test than i was expecting and *finally* got inspired in art, yay...was probably my most productive lesson for the whole of the GCSE course time. did 8 painting developments and did some ict work

doing some german now then ill probably do some art and maybe even my science :D

x.x.x.

28th
yayee! found black lace gloves..that fit me :D

ooo irony...was walking home listening to stay in the rain(the only song i should ever quote from...tis done by klaha from a womans point of view apparently so none of those stupid "boku"s), got to the last line of the song "in the rain" and then it began to rain..yes that was the most interesting part of my day apart from continuing the mana-chan/kun debate in my head.

did lots of art in art *faints again* heh

went to college evening thing at school...haywards gave you sweets and wristbands *is now going to haywards heath* im easily bought :D hehe...me and my mother were the weird ones going round to every college asking if they did japanese ^_^ crawley/hh does an evening course so ill probably take that

new word: ame=rain

x.x.x.

29th
day was good :D wore gloves...that did scare some people *^^* got apres midi instrumental, queued 15th for merveiles l'espace *please work* over an hour of liveness :D

another thing bugging me: illuminati- is there actually any meaning whatsoever to the lyrics? or did they just say..hey can we have a weird song with odd lyrics that make no sense..im answering my own questions arent i?

twas hardly anyone in english..most ppl were in the collyers talk, so we talked about the stupidity of americans and their media. did very little again in spanish as he likes to check things on the register 600 times before we start to do any work...science was ok, got to watch video so got to sit im "my place" gave matt my spare button..went around tutors and sold jeans for genes day bands and missed assembly by doing so ^^. maths was ok...the work was like a/a* stuff and i understood it!*hops and dances* the second thing this year i have actually understood, im happy. Bus was squishie.

reading gackt's autobiography...its actually quite short, there are two shorts bits on malice mizer which are "meeting malice mizer" and "leaving malice mizer" mentioned again in "kamis death" and thats it so far ah well, but then again, i wasnt expecting any truth in it..who believes most things someone who says he is a 400 and something year old vampire anyway?

got email confirmation for imaf entry...which means it got there :D started putting stuff on devaintart account...havent for like two months...ah well

and oo go me! i learnt new phrase:

shiroi hada ni kuruu ai to kanashimi no rondo

which should mean (according to the song) the rondo of love and sadness driven crazy by the white skin (very useful *nods*)

meh and i have a cold.

woops...i know i said i didnt like jrock...but once you start, you end up with all these names (still working out the difference between hide and Hyde...yeh that could confuse a stupid person, i think hide was in X japan but died and Hyde is from L'arc~en~ciel, who gackt said he would like if he were a woman...so being married and having a child doesnt out him off then...and the whole You thing still confuses me...whos bright idea was it to call him that...) being thrown at you and end up listening to their music...so i now have some l'arc~en~ciel...not sure...still prefer malice but then that was always gonna be the case. now however i must check moi dix mois webite. still no news of a new vocalist...hehe maybe mana could do it *laughs*

x.x.x.

half fanfic half real...yes odd...but hey no-one reads this anyway..im just too lazy to write things in a diary and it wastes paper :D

am i just a face that goes on anymore? merely a doll? am i so lost in the stageshow that i have lost who i really am? hiding behind stage pretence, waiting for the curtain to fall...but even when it does why cant i cry? i feel too lost underneath it all. trying to be something im not sure i am, or am i only truly becoming myself now? and which way round was it? does anyone know me? do i even know myself?

hehe...that was odd...half way through i wanted to write spinny spinny synths...*blames je te veux and kozi*

and what else did i learn today:

death comes when you are out, possesses dolls then kills your children (gekka no yasoukyoku was very informative) death also has the ability to spin and fly and has incredibly long nails

30th
wow you can get malice mizer lyrics translated into french...thats surely something they would like ^^ well if they could understand french..."parle vous francais?" "hello france.."

was ill today..cold. so didnt do much. did some maths. got gardenia cardinal version. got 1% of merveilles l'espace and considering buying one of ayu's single from cdjapan...getting some tm revolution..not gonna know til i try :D and getting au revoir pv making of thingy. must get soon...am suffering pv/live withdrawal symptoms *rocks back and forth on chair*

woo got some alice nine *begins to feel sterotyped with the whole alice in wonderland thing* *listens to the music* *suddenly doesnt feel sterotyped* sometimes i do wonder about my weirdness...heh its all good

gonna try and get some pride of mind...coz i like klaha in mm and on his own, so chances are ill like pride of mind ne?

oh i think ive decided on my internal debate that mana would be called mana-chan...i mean imagine if you didnt know he was a man and heard him being refered to as mana-kun...

new plan to get back to japan: put me in a box labeled "japan gackt tour '05" with any luck i'd get there :D and maybe cover the box in postage stamps...

x.x.x.